Terrible But Kind of Good Business Ideas
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Mini Van Privacy Dividers For When Your Kids Are Being Annoying (#26)
“Mom! Mom! Mom!” “Yes?” “Mom! Can we get a snow cone?” “Honey, we’re driving home from the ice cream place!” Your eyes flick up to the rearview mirror and you see tears welling in your little angel’s eyes. “But…but…” Oh geez. Oh man. Fuck. Fucking shit. “…but mom…I really want a snow cone…” Nice. Your… Read more
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Televised Gladiator Fights To Reduce Jail Sentences (#25)
It’s Friday night. You’re chilling with a friend in his living room and ESPN is blaring through his TV speakers. Right now it’s Joe Rogan’s voice, announcing the participants in a fight scheduled to begin in less than five minutes. “Ladies and gentlemen, tonight we have a special treat for you – the prison fight… Read more
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A Matching App That Finds Celebrities In Your Area Willing To Take Pictures With You For Money (#24)
Clout prostitution – a phenomenon in which people exchange their clout for money. Huge market. Largely untapped. Picture this. You’re in New York City. You know who else is in New York City? An assload of celebrities. Our recently developed app has just been released and you have a beta version downloaded on your phone.… Read more
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Yelp But For People: A Comprehensive Review Site For Every Person On Earth (#23)
If you were thinking about buying a new car you’d do some research first, right? Well, what if you googled the car you really wanted – your dream car – and Edmund’s, the top car reviewing website on the internet, said it was an unreliable piece of shit? That might change your approach to the… Read more
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Paid Entrance To A Privately Owned Island Where Every Drug Is Legal (#22)
Step 1: Buy a private island. Step 2: Register the island with the UN as its own country. Step 3: Ship in every drug known to mankind. Step 4: Charge people to visit the island and try the drug(s) of their choice. Step 5: Become the richest person on earth. Literally so easy. I just… Read more
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The Real Life Truman Show: A TV Show That Broadcasts A Really Boring Guy 24/7 (#21)
The Truman Show is one of the sickest movies of all time. It’s about a guy (played by Jim Carrey) coming to the realization that his entire life is a reality TV show. Since the day of his birth…are these spoilers? Maybe. Stop reading if you haven’t seen the movie. Since the day of his… Read more
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A Law Requiring All Vapes To Be Shaped Like Dicks (#20)
Picture this: you’re at a party, getting that tingling feeling on your lips that can only be solved by a splash of nicotine to the lungs. You reach for your vape…and as your hand touches it you remember the new FDA policy. It was enacted on September 1st of 2020. From that day forward, the… Read more
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A Nicotine Quitting Package From Juul (#19)
E-cigarettes were originally designed to serve as both a healthier alternative to actual cigarettes and a means for quitting smoking altogether, but instead of decreasing the number of nicotine dependents listed on cancer’s tax return, they’ve exponentially increased it. Two totally new populations of addicts have emerged from these clouds: chache high schoolers trying to… Read more
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Showers That Let You Select Water Temperature (#18)
Finding the perfect equilibrium between the hot and cold knobs of a shower system is a nearly impossible dance of little twists and turns that either scorch you or freeze you, and 99% of the time ends in you settling for a temperature that’s “close enough.” But “close enough” is no way for you to… Read more
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Vitamin Toothpaste (#17)
No one actually takes daily vitamins on a routine basis. People barely take daily birth control, and being pregnant on accident sucks way more than not having vitamins in your body. Honestly, to be completely frank, I have no fucking clue what vitamins actually do. Make you healthier? Maybe. I don’t know. Either way, science… Read more
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A Market For People To Sell Tattoo Real Estate On Their Bodies (#16)
I’d pay ten dollars without batting an eye if someone told me that’s all it would take for them to get a huge dick tattooed on their forehead, and I’m sure a lot of other people would too. Imagine an online marketplace that facilitated these kind of transactions. Clients would create posts using a… Read more
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Basketballs That Talk Shit When You Brick (#15)
“BRICK.” “BRICK.” “ASS.” “MISS.” “Your current shot percentage is: worse than Stevie Wonder’s. And he was fucking blind.” “Welcome to the gym, Helen Keller! The hoop is ten feet that way!” Part of being a top tier athlete is dealing with the stress of on the court shit talkers who try to psyche you out… Read more
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A Sewage System But For Trash (#14)
Taking the trash out sucks – wiggling a heavy, sometimes dripping bag out of a stuffed can, tying it shut, dragging it to the street, replacing it with one that isn’t exactly the right size for the container so you have to either stretch it or tie it off to make it fit, and then… Read more
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A Phone Number That Calls You When You Want To Leave The Room (#13)
Everyone has at least one friend they text “can you call me” when the place they are sucks and they want to leave it, but that automatic excuse to dip out of a room isn’t always available for a quick fake emergency conversation. Sometimes you get stuck. So picture this: a phone number saved in… Read more
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Booters: A Hooters With Male Waiters (#12)
Picture this: it’s 2021. Midnight. On a…Tuesday. Yeah. You’re in bed, about to fall asleep, scrolling through Twitter. Every fourth tweet is about a new restaurant chain reportedly bringing in millions of dollars of revenue every fiscal quarter, and you see a post that catches your eye. It’s a statistic. According to this tweet, 85%… Read more
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Print Your Ex’s Face On Toilet Paper (#11)
This one is pretty self-explanatory, and there’s a huge market for it. Literally everyone has a shitty ex, and what better way to highlight the fact that they’re shitty than to literally put actual shit on a printout of their face? That’s our pitch: a company capable of creating toilet paper with a customized image… Read more
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Cordless Electric Car Charging Pads (#10)
Wireless iPhone charging pads. Those alone are sick, right? But they’re only the beginning of what’s possible. Knowledge of this newly created product got the ball rolling in one of my highly creative friend’s alcoholic brain. If you can do that with phones, he thought, why not do it with electric cars? Imagine this: you… Read more
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Russian Roulette Birth Control (#9)
Your spouse doesn’t want a kid yet. To be completely honest, you’re not even sure if you want one either. But you both like risk. Everyone likes risk. It’s addictive. You hear about our product through a close friend. They tried it, and now they have two week old twins named Lewis and Clark, and… Read more
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Microwave But You Set An Optimal Internal Temperature Instead Of A Time (#8)
Ten Tyson Chicken Nuggets take two and a half minutes to warm in a standard microwave. Anyone who eats brand name chicken nuggets knows that. It’s common knowledge. But what if it wasn’t? What if the common knowledge was that you should choose 150 degrees as your optimal internal food temperature for any number of… Read more
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Soft Prostitution (#7)
We all know and love the holy trinity of dating apps: Bumble, Tinder, and Hinge. But these apps require conversation, and conversation blows. Imagine a local underground organization of like minded individuals you can go to with all your freshmen-in-college pent up and unexpressed sexual desires. Here’s how it works. Both members and potential clients… Read more
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Scented Light Bulbs (#6)
Does your lightbulb ever just smell like nothing? It sucks, right? Well picture this: your lightbulb doesn’t smell like nothing. It smells like blueberry pie. Yeah. It smells like grandma came back to life and she’s whipping some shit up for you in the kitchen. That’d be sick, right? Regular air fresheners are cool, but… Read more
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Sell Retired Drug Dogs to Drug Dealers So They Can Steal Other People’s Drugs (#5)
When you picture fat stacks of cash, who do you imagine standing over them holding machine guns and kilogram bags of cocaine? That’s right. Drug dealers. The money is there, you just need a quick idea to pitch so those stacks become your stacks. That’s where we come in. Drug dogs have been used exclusively… Read more
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Purchasable YouTube Views (#4)
This idea requires some sort of coding computer science technology math background or something but the concept itself is pretty simple. Create a platform for people to sign up as professional YouTube video watchers and then have other people use this same platform to purchase views for their own videos. Our target market, in a… Read more
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Car Detailer/Valet Service at Sporting Events (#3)
Imagine this. You just drove 45 minutes to see the Rangers get shit on by the Astros at Globe Life Park in Arlington. You pull up to a parking lot a quarter mile away from the stadium but it’s cool because part of our hypothetical service is a complimentary shuttle to the stadium. Our poorly… Read more
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A Porn Website Called “Horner Brothers” Instead of Warner Brothers (#2)
That’s it. That’s the entire idea. Venmo me for my pun to avoid a drawn out lawsuit.
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Ketchup But in a Toothpaste Bottle (#1)
It’s possible to squeeze every last bit of toothpaste out of a toothpaste tube using the roll-up-when-there’s-not-much-left-method…but is it possible to do that with ketchup? It wouldn’t be much of an exaggeration to say “fuck no it isn’t.” That’s the problem this entrepreneurial endeavor aims to solve. Imagine ketchup, but in a toothpaste tube. Revolutionary.… Read more
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