It’s possible to squeeze every last bit of toothpaste out of a toothpaste tube using the roll-up-when-there’s-not-much-left-method…but is it possible to do that with ketchup? It wouldn’t be much of an exaggeration to say “fuck no it isn’t.” That’s the problem this entrepreneurial endeavor aims to solve. Imagine ketchup, but in a toothpaste tube. Revolutionary.

You know those restaurant packets that suck ass to squeeze? Travel size tube. Boom. Problem solved.

Large bottles that fart and spray everywhere when you’re almost done with them? Not a problem with our (currently) completely imaginary half-liter tube.

Manufacturing costs are an obstacle, of course, but a very surmountable one – especially when the total monopoly of the condiment market that would result from this business model is taken into consideration.

What about the environmental costs, you say? Make the tubes recyclable. I don’t know how that shit works but it’s probably super easy.

And there you have it. A full business model. If anyone ends up taking this idea to Heinz for a quick milli Venmo me like 1% for idea credit and I won’t sue you.

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