When you picture fat stacks of cash, who do you imagine standing over them holding machine guns and kilogram bags of cocaine? That’s right. Drug dealers. The money is there, you just need a quick idea to pitch so those stacks become your stacks. That’s where we come in.

Drug dogs have been used exclusively by one side in the war on drugs. It’s time to change that. Imagine a drug dog, but its owner is a drug dealer. A mind fuck, right?

What would dealers use these dogs for? Anyone who’s seen Pineapple Express can answer that for you. To find drugs. The Asians in Pineapple Express were always on the offensive. Asians are smart like that. But imagine if Ted had a drug dog. He could’ve taken the fight to their underground weed haven instead of waiting around like a dumbass for his to get shot up.

I know this pitch has some Mike Vick vibes (you’d be a dog dealer), but the road to wealth is paved with discarded moral beliefs. So saddle up, buckaroo. It’s time to get rich.

Venmo or I’ll turn you in to the police.

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