E-cigarettes were originally designed to serve as both a healthier alternative to actual cigarettes and a means for quitting smoking altogether, but instead of decreasing the number of nicotine dependents listed on cancer’s tax return, they’ve exponentially increased it.

Two totally new populations of addicts have emerged from these clouds: chache high schoolers trying to look sick in front of their friends and bored college students looking for a substance other than cocaine to spice up parties and date events.

This wasn’t supposed to happen, and companies like Juul need to get back on track before they piss off the FDA enough for them to do serious brand damage via new litigation and anti-vaping campaigns.

That’s where our idea comes in: a nicotine quitting package that includes tiers of pods containing different nicotine content percentages with the ultimate goal of transitioning to 0% pods, and then dropping the vape game altogether. This would up the image of any company willing to take on the project, bringing in both serious revenue and positive reviews from the general population AND the FDA.

If you’re going to market yourself as a safe alternative, which is really the only option at this point, you need to at least try to make it look like that’s the goal. I get that the money is in the Supreme frockets of rich seventeen year old kids, but targeting them is a dick move. They’re vulnerable. That’s like going to a rehab facility and saying “Hey guys! Want some fucking e-crack? It’s like normal crack but through a vape so it’s better!”

A dumbass kid is just as vulnerable as a former heroin addict three days out from his last needle poke.

So quit pretending like we don’t see what you’re doing, e-cigarette companies. Or keep doing it alongside this so your image looks better and you still make a billion dollars every year. I don’t really give a shit, I just think this is a good idea. So good, in fact, that I’d like to open up a partnership with any company willing to run with it. My half of the partnership looks like this: I gave you the idea. And your half looks like this: you Venmo me 1% of the profits the idea generates for the next 15 years. Simple – and fun! Everyone loves Venmo!

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